Healing CPTSD and Shadow Work

Healing CPTSD & Doing Shadow Work: How I Faced My Inner World and Set Myself Free

Introduction Of Healing CPTSD and Shadow Work

Healing CPTSD and shadow work isn’t a neat, linear journey — it’s a slow peeling back of everything you were taught to hide.

I didn’t know I had CPTSD.
I just knew I was exhausted, reactive, dissociated, and constantly afraid of abandonment.
I blamed myself for being “too much” or “too broken.”
But the truth is — I was carrying trauma that wasn’t mine to begin with.

Shadow work helped me see that my anger wasn’t evil. My sadness wasn’t weakness.
They were unspoken truths buried under survival.

CPTSD made me feel fragmented, like I was living with ghosts.
Shadow work gave those ghosts a voice.

I started writing letters to the parts of me I hated.
I sat with my shame instead of running from it.
I let my inner child say the things she never could.
And slowly, the fear stopped running my life.

This wasn’t overnight. But with every journal entry, tear, or breathwork session — I came back to myself.

Healing CPTSD and shadow work taught me one sacred truth:
You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to be whole.

And wholeness includes every part of you — even the ones you were told to hide.

What Is CPTSD (And Why It’s So Often Missed)?

CPTSD = Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
It’s not just “something bad happened.”

It’s when:

  • You were emotionally neglected for years

  • You had to be the adult as a child

  • You were constantly criticized, shamed, or made to feel invisible

  • Your nervous system never learned what safety feels like

It’s why:

  • You freeze in conversations

  • You overthink every reply

  • You people-please till you’re numb

  • You can’t relax, even in silence

What Is Shadow Work?

Shadow work = facing the parts of you you were taught to hide.

The:

  • Rage

  • Jealousy

  • Neediness

  • Anger at your parents

  • Sexuality

  • Desperation to be loved

It’s not about becoming “better.”
It’s about becoming whole.

The Symptoms I Carried for 30+ Years

I didn’t know it was trauma.
I thought I was:

  • “Too sensitive”

  • “Too emotional”

  • “Just bad at relationships”

But I was:

  • Scared of abandonment

  • Hyper-aware of tone shifts

  • Shutting down when things felt too good

  • Angry and ashamed at once

  • Triggered by being ignored or told “relax”

I thought I needed to be fixed.
But I needed to be seen.

Healing CPTSD and Shadow Work: How I Started Reclaiming My Life

My Shadow Work Journey (As Someone With CPTSD)

Shadow work with CPTSD is different.
It’s not journaling prompts and moon rituals. It’s raw survival becoming self-compassion.

Here’s how it really looked for me:

1. I Admitted I Was Angry At the People I Loved

I let myself say it:

“I’m angry my mother didn’t protect me.”

“I’m furious I had to grow up so fast.”

“I’m tired of being the ‘strong one.’”

Letting myself feel that didn’t make me bad.
It made me real. And that started the healing.

2. I Let Myself Be Ugly

I cried in front of mirrors.
I screamed into pillows.
I wrote letters I never sent.
I whispered:

“I don’t want to be the nice one today.”

Shadow work means not performing.
It means holding your shame and saying:

“I still choose you.”

3. I Stopped Fixing — And Started Feeling

CPTSD made me a hyper-fixer.
I needed everything to be “okay” or I felt unsafe.

Shadow work taught me:

  • To sit in discomfort

  • To hold space for tension

  • To not rush forgiveness

  • To feel rage without hurting myself

I now say:

“This hurts. I’m staying anyway.”

4. I Used My Body As My Anchor

My brain lied a lot.
My body didn’t.

I started:

  • Rubbing my arms when I felt triggered

  • Lying on the floor and breathing into my gut

  • Shaking out panic instead of suppressing it

  • Taking slow, hot showers with no purpose but comfort

Your body holds truth before words do.
Shadow work means letting your body finally exhale.

5. I Gave Myself What I Was Denied

  • I say “I love you” to myself every night

  • I let myself rest without earning it

  • I buy myself small gifts and say “you deserve this”

  • I parent myself the way no one did

That’s reparenting. That’s shadow alchemy.
That’s how you rebuild what never was.

Healing CPTSD and Shadow Work – What Actually Helped Me

PracticeWhy It Worked
Mirror TalkConfronted shame + self-hatred
Inner Child LettersReleased resentment safely
Grounding (barefoot, oil massage)Regulated nervous system
Saying “No”Reclaimed power + boundaries
Expressing Anger CreativelyPrevented implosion

You don’t need a fancy workbook.
You need your truth — and a place to put it.

My Weekly Healing Flow

DayPractice
MondaySit with anger. Write the real letter.
TuesdayMirror gaze + say “I’m not too much.”
WednesdayTouch ground + hum when triggered
ThursdayRest on purpose. No guilt.
FridayReparent: gift yourself something small
SaturdayMove emotion: cry, shake, dance, scream
SundayWrite to your 10-year-old self

Healing CPTSD and shadow work isn’t about fixing yourself — it’s about finally seeing yourself with honesty and compassion.
For years, I tried to escape my triggers, numb my feelings, and “stay strong” by avoiding my past.
But the deeper I went into healing CPTSD and shadow work, the more I realized: my symptoms weren’t the problem.
They were signals from the parts of me that had been silenced.
Through journaling, breathwork, and inner child dialogues, I began to release shame and reclaim safety.
This process isn’t perfect, but it’s powerful — and it’s how I’m learning to live again.

I used to think healing was about forgetting. But healing CPTSD and shadow work taught me it’s about remembering — and re-loving the parts I abandoned.
This path isn’t linear. Some days I feel strong, other days I collapse into grief I thought I’d buried.
But I no longer fear my emotions.
That shift began the moment I committed to healing CPTSD and shadow work with truth, not shame.
It’s the reason I set boundaries now.
It’s the reason I speak gently to my younger self.
Every time I show up for the part of me that once felt invisible, I rebuild trust within.
That’s what healing CPTSD and shadow work truly is — a return to self.

Final Thoughts: Walking the Path of Healing CPTSD and Shadow Work

The journey of healing CPTSD and shadow work is not a straight line. It’s a spiral of returning, remembering, releasing, and reclaiming. Many people try to suppress their trauma, but real relief begins the moment we choose to engage with our shadow, not fear it. Through healing CPTSD and shadow work, we learn to face the parts of us that were told they were “too much” or “not enough.”

Every time you pause, journal, or sit with a painful memory instead of running from it — that’s healing CPTSD and shadow work in motion. You don’t need to be perfect to start. You just need to be willing to meet yourself honestly.
Through consistent healing CPTSD and shadow work, you can rewrite your emotional patterns, reclaim your boundaries, and move toward a more whole and sovereign self.

Whether you’re doing this alone or with support, remember: you are not broken — you

Related Topic :-7 Yoga Poses That Healed My Anxiety & Rewired My Mind – A Mental Health Journey

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FAQs – Healing CPTSD and Shadow Work

What is the connection between CPTSD and shadow work ?

Healing CPTSD and shadow work go hand in hand because both involve uncovering suppressed emotions, trauma responses, and inner wounds. Shadow work helps you safely face the parts of yourself shaped by trauma.

Is shadow work safe for people with CPTSD ?

Yes — when done gently and mindfully. It’s important to approach healing CPTSD and shadow work with grounding tools, support systems, and a slow pace to avoid retraumatization.

Do I need a therapist to start shadow work ?

While a therapist can help, you can begin healing CPTSD and shadow work through journaling, inner child meditations, and nervous system regulation practices. Just be sure to pause when overwhelmed.

What tools support both CPTSD healing and shadow integration ?

Somatic practices, trauma-informed journaling prompts, breathwork, and mirror work are excellent for healing CPTSD and shadow work. They help reconnect mind and body gently.

How long does it take to see changes with this kind of work ?

It varies. Some shifts are immediate (like emotional release or clarity), while others take months. Healing CPTSD and shadow work is not linear — it's a layered, ongoing process of reparenting and rebuilding trust in yourself.

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